Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
