thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
