What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
