how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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