Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
