At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
