I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
