OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
