if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
