After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
