I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
