Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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