I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
