then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
