great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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