your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
