Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
