No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
