my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
