I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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