Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
