He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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