it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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