Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
