I accidentally burped into my bong.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She told me I should be a condom model.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
