Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
