Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
