butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
