life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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