your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
