My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
