ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
