JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
