worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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