Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
