even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
