What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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