My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My underwear smells like fireworks.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
