I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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