The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
