my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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