fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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