I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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