Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
