I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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