Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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