i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Randomize
