craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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