I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
