someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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